i am the world’s best dragon slayer. you ever seen a dragon round here? no? you’re welcome.
i think it’s cute when someone admits they have a crush on you
i think it’s a fucking miracle
i have a gay best friend. it’s me. i’m gay. i’m my only friend.
there is nothing like the stress of showing someone a song that you like
some people will pay $500,000 or more for you virginity
i have no idea what this comment is supposed to mean
sometimes i look in the mirror and realise “wow, i dont need a haircut, i need plastic surgery”
Getting emotional over Frozen. No. I must contain these man tears
hot guy in the drive thru called me “ma’am” I just got mom zoned
Babies R Us doesn’t even sell babies